So, I am finally reading the book Boundaries by Dan Allender and Henry Cloud. The book is chock full of good things. Boundaries in life are an issue that I work with a number of clients with regularly. So often, we are tempted to have bad boundaries and then we cannot seem to understand how things went badly. Often when I ask people to define their boundaries for me and the next few moments are awful quiet.
This book is not about parentening in its scope but it does offer a few things to consider when dealing with consequences for our children. Discipline of children is something that is often contentious when discussed. Many times, couples who are seeking couples counseling report that they are argue in the area of child discipline.
You can have a fun (and sometimes contentious) discussion with friends about proper discipline. What works, what doesn't? I think the reason these discussion often become contentious is because the people in the discussion disagree over what the purpose is. The author's offer the following reasons for consequences. They are:
- Consequences are intended to increase the child's sense of responsibility and control over his life
- Consequences must be age-appropriate
- Consequences must be related to the seriousness of the infraction.
- The goal of boundaries is an internal sense of motivation, with self-induced consequences.
What do you think? Are there any you disagree with? Would you add something?
