If you are married, I'd like to ask you a few questions:

  1. What is your greatest wound from your youth? How has it impacted your marriage?
  2. What is your greatest fear regarding your marriage?
  3. What is your spouse's greatest wound? How does it effect your marriage?
  4. What is your spouse's greatest fear regarding your marriage?

Here's why I ask: If you can't answer these questions, how can you manage the effects they are having on your marriage? Being married will either enhance your strengths or your weaknesses. The wounds and hurts you carry from your past will impact how you love your spouse, your children and the people around you.

If you have you reacted in a situation in your marriage and then later wondered you always seem to react that way, you may have experienced what happens when we don't find healing for our wounds.

Seriously, take a few minutes and answer this question for yourself. If you don't know what the answer might be, take a few minutes and just jot down what comes to mind for yourself. Then jot down what you think the answers might be for your spouse.

Then if you really want to have some courage, go and ask your spouse what he or she thinks the answers are. Compare your answers.  Your marriage, or relationship can only be improved for these conversations.


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