Last week I talked about shame and Brené Brown. I also talked about Neil Postman and how I think he is one of the most underappreciated thinkers of the last century. Perhaps the most controversial thing I said was that I thought Brené Brown might be wrong when it comes to shame.More than a few…
I think Brené Brown is wrong. There. I said it. I said something I’ve been thinking about for years. I remember when I first saw her TED talk on shame and how powerful it was. I shared it. I had clients watch it. And then… And then, I started to wonder if maybe she didn’t…
Good intentions are widely lauded. When someone means well, we tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. We soften our judgment and assume the heart behind the action matters most. In many ways, that instinct is healthy. Most people genuinely want to do good. Most people care about the people around them. Recognizing…
I’m working on the next short book in the Small Books. Serious Change. series. The working title is Fear Is a Terrible King.This is the third reflection as I think out loud before the manuscript is finalized. Part 1 can be found here, and Part 2 can be found here. We’ve talked about how fear…
Dear Reader, My production has been down the last three weeks. On March 20th, I had knee replacement surgery, planning on putting these posts up and continuing my normal content creation while recovering. That was the plan. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work out like I had hoped and planned. I feel like I am back…
I’ve been working on a short book around this idea, not about eliminating fear, but about removing it from authority. It’s part of my series called Short Books for Serious Change. Book one, Start Anyway, is out now. You can buy it here. More books in the series are coming soon. But right now, I’m…
We live in an age obsessed with insight. We want breakthroughs.The realization.The lightbulb moment.The deep explanation that finally makes everything make sense. Why do I react this way? Where did this pattern come from? What childhood moment created this belief? What attachment style explains this dynamic? What trauma explains this habit? Insight feels powerful. It…
Let’s talk about something we almost all do, but very rarely admit. We believe our problems are special. Not just difficult. Not just painful. Special. Unique. Complex. More complex than other people’s.More unfair.More layered.More uniquely ours. And the moment we start believing that, we quietly hand our problems authority.When we do that, we silently stop…
Blame and responsibility are not the same thing.Blame asks: Who caused this?Responsibility asks: What am I going to do now? Those are different questions.And most of us collapse them into one. Someone hurt you.Someone lied.Someone betrayed your trust.Someone handled something poorly.A leader failed.A parent didn’t show up.A spouse shut down.A friend withdrew.A system broke down….
Calm gets praised. It gets rewarded. It gets mistaken for health. But emotional quiet is not always emotional maturity. In this episode, we unpack the difference between true regulation and strategic shutdown, and why some forms of calm are rooted in fear, control, or avoidance. You’ll learn how to tell whether your peace is grounded…
