A few years ago, I had a wonderful moment. My oldest daughter was working at her college helping the incoming freshmen during their first week on campus. When she came home, I asked her how the day had gone. “UGH! I told one of the freshmen something and I sounded just like you! I heard…
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how everyone has a reason for their bad behavior. You can read that here. It talks about how we have to recognize that everyone has a reason for why they may have done something that could have hurt us. Today’s article talks about what to do when…
Years ago I worked as a referee coordinator for a soccer program in Maryland. The county I lived in had a thriving sports program and I helped make the games happen. I also refereed in that league. I coached a High School team during the week and refereed in the evenings and weekends. In one…
Last week I talked about shame and Brené Brown. I also talked about Neil Postman and how I think he is one of the most underappreciated thinkers of the last century. Perhaps the most controversial thing I said was that I thought Brené Brown might be wrong when it comes to shame.More than a few…
I think Brené Brown is wrong. There. I said it. I said something I’ve been thinking about for years. I remember when I first saw her TED talk on shame and how powerful it was. I shared it. I had clients watch it. And then… And then, I started to wonder if maybe she didn’t…
Good intentions are widely lauded. When someone means well, we tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. We soften our judgment and assume the heart behind the action matters most. In many ways, that instinct is healthy. Most people genuinely want to do good. Most people care about the people around them. Recognizing…
I’m working on the next short book in the Small Books. Serious Change. series. The working title is Fear Is a Terrible King.This is the third reflection as I think out loud before the manuscript is finalized. Part 1 can be found here, and Part 2 can be found here. We’ve talked about how fear…
Dear Reader, My production has been down the last three weeks. On March 20th, I had knee replacement surgery, planning on putting these posts up and continuing my normal content creation while recovering. That was the plan. Unfortunately, it didn’t quite work out like I had hoped and planned. I feel like I am back…
I’ve been working on a short book around this idea, not about eliminating fear, but about removing it from authority. It’s part of my series called Short Books for Serious Change. Book one, Start Anyway, is out now. You can buy it here. More books in the series are coming soon. But right now, I’m…
We live in an age obsessed with insight. We want breakthroughs.The realization.The lightbulb moment.The deep explanation that finally makes everything make sense. Why do I react this way? Where did this pattern come from? What childhood moment created this belief? What attachment style explains this dynamic? What trauma explains this habit? Insight feels powerful. It…
