The Secret to Becoming a Great Communicator (part 2)
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The Secret to Becoming a Great Communicator (part 2)

Introduction: This week, I’m continuing my series on the six rules of communication. If you haven’t read rule one, go here. This post will focus on rules two and three. You can also find a great introduction to these rules and how they emerged. These rules are also found in my book, The Emotionally Secure…

The Secret to Becoming a Great Communicator (part 1)
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The Secret to Becoming a Great Communicator (part 1)

Introduction: When I was going through pre-marital counseling with the pastor who would perform our service, he shared four rules with my wife to transform our communication. About two years later, working at a 501c3, I was asked to do some marriage counseling by a couple that was in real trouble. I had no idea…

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You probably don’t need to improve your communication

There is something of a joke amongst marriage and relationship therapists. Everyone we meet, regardless of what is going on in their marriage, just needs to improve their communication. Domestic Violence? Just help us improve our communication. Infidelity? Just help us improve our communication. Financial Issues? Just help us improve our communication. Criminal Enterprise? Just…

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The Emotionally Secure Couple: Chapter One

Then we try to soothe our pain. We try to soothe it by working out or making millions of dollars or getting involved in church. We try to outdo our shame, falsely believing that we can outrun it through activity. The net result becomes a heaping of shame on top of shame. Our activity does not do away with our shame; instead, it numbs our response to it. A numb soul tends to be numb to everything. This causes us to pick activities that keep us from connecting with someone else, which causes us to experience more shame.

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The Subtle Stages of an Affair

Few people are actually chasing an affair at first, they are often chasing other things that lead to the affair. But few people, if they are honest with the themselves, will deny that they knew where it was heading when they jumped on the path.
If you saw yourself in any of these steps, I can’t encourage you enough to seek counseling.
Affairs are terrible storms that leave dark and deep swaths of destruction in their wake.

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Three things that healthy couples do.

When stress enters the narratives of a relationship, people are often tempted to try and jump directly to problem solving. This is problematic because they are often not in the right place to effectively problem solve. Try the two steps listed below, first.  Three Things that Every Healthy Couple Does: 1. De-escalate stress points. In…