The following is an expert from The Emotionally Secure Couple. Chapter 8 deals with conflict. The book can be bought wherever quality books are sold and at our offices. Storytellers love conflict. Seriously. Think about our modern-day bards—they all tell tales of high conflict. This conflict gives the hero or heroine in the story purpose…
Why haven't you been _______? I was recently asked, "Hey, why haven't I seen you at ________?" I left the place blank on purpose because it doesn't necessarily matter what you put in that blank, you probably haven't seen me in a lot of places. Some people have asked from, what I believe, is a…
There is something of a joke amongst marriage and relationship therapists. Everyone we meet, regardless of what is going on in their marriage, just needs to improve their communication. Domestic Violence? Just help us improve our communication. Infidelity? Just help us improve our communication. Financial Issues? Just help us improve our communication. Criminal Enterprise? Just…
Relationships are hard They can have painful experiences. Those painful experiences from past experiences can cast shadows into our current relationships. People are complicated messes. Even, perhaps especially, the people we love. Often, when I'm working with a couple I will see a phenomenon I call "Hall Pass." When they are feeling their loved ones…
Recently, my wife and I went out to dinner with friends. I was telling a story about how there was someone I had to interact with regularly, but I didn’t trust the person. The wife asked, “is this us?” I replied, “Yes, that’s exactly why we go out to dinner with you guys regularly.” I…
In our ever increasingly busy society, I fear that we are losing time to educate and learn about relationships. And because of this, our relationships are suffering. Things like personal, emotional and feeling regulation are minimized. As humans, we crave relationships. And for some reason, we seem to be getting worse at doing something healthy…
What’s even better than changed behavior is not having to put a fire out.
So what’s my wife’s rule? Well, you’ve probably figured it out by now, but just in case you have not, here it is.
This past Sunday I was taking my daughter to practice driving. We were driving down the main road here in town and my wife and I were texting (my daughter was driving) and she sent me a text, "Did you hear Kobe Bryant died this morning in a helicopter crash?" At first, I thought maybe…
In this video, I discuss three necessary steps for problem solving that all healthy relationships utilize. I blogged about it here for those that prefer reading. Media Monday is a series where I focus on something that I have created in another form of media. It's designed to help cross multiple learning styles.
I find that many of my clients and people that I come in contact with actually see the early warning signs but tend to ignore them because of the narrative in their own head. Some obvious early warning signs are over sharing too soon, when it is not appropriate. This is often an attempt at…
