I was talking to a seasoned couple the other day. They were relaying a story that had happened to them in their everyday life. They were laughing about it. I asked them if they understood how many couples would have been fighting over the very same thing that they were laughing about. The husband looked…
Two words can change your relationship? Admit it, you’re a touch skeptical. I admit that I was when the principle was first shared with me. But not now, because now I’ve seen it work. When I was in grad school studying to become a counselor, I would often have people engage me via social media…
If you haven't read the book Decivsive yet, you should get it and make the time to read it. I read it last year and started giving it away to people.The book deals with better ways to make decisions. I tend to think that most people underestimate the value of looking at the system that…
As a counselor, I am often tasked with helping people create and experience change in their lives. I often walk this road with couples. I often talk to them about the fact that they have to choose to be vulnerable or to not be vulnerable, but without vulnerability I don't know how change happens. The…
Being in the people helping business is one of the most interesting tightropes I have ever walked. On the one hand, I want to help people. On the other hand, I want to pay my bills. I have a bias towards the actual field of counseling. Not all counseling is done by counselors. Some is…
Part one can be found here. Part two can be found here. Focus on the positives If you are fighting with your spouse a lot, chances are good that you are focusing on the negatives. Let’s say that your husband has been promising to get something done in the backyard for months. You keep bringing…
Conflict is something we all have in life. No matter how good the relationship, people disagree. Typically, we do everything we can to avoid conflict. Some people use aggression to blow the conflict up while others use passiveness and run away. Probably most of us fit somewhere in the middle of those two positions. But…
A friend shared this on my facebook wall. What are your thoughts as you watch it?
*This post is the fictional conversation that is a fairly typical conversation about being heard** Jane and Robert had met in college. They started out hot and heavy. Married a year later, they moved for his job. While they didn’t like his job or the location of where they lived, they loved each…
Continuing on with the idea of looking at other people's writings for some conversation fodder. I thought we would visit my friend Dean Dorman's blog. Dean is a local therapist and I have the privilege of calling this skilled clinician a friend. He has a book coming out in the not so distant future about…
