Improve every conversation by focusing on controlling what you say.
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Being Thankful for the Life We Have and Lamenting What Could Have Been
When Cindy Clemishire was twelve years old, a family friend and church pastor began sexually assaulting her. Five years later, she told her family. Roughly three decades later, the story went public. In those intervening years, her abuser expressed remorse over “having an inappropriate relationship” with a woman other than his wife.He never mentioned that…
Should we focus on our spouse or children more?
Continuing on with the idea of looking at other people's writings for some conversation fodder. I thought we would visit my friend Dean Dorman's blog. Dean is a local therapist and I have the privilege of calling this skilled clinician a friend. He has a book coming out in the not so distant future about…
VLOG #4. Three Steps to Problem Solving
Here is my fourth YouTube offering. In this video, I explore the three steps for problem solving. So many couples get into trouble in their conversation because they end up trying to go directly to step #3. Watch the video below and let me know what you think. Thanks.
I screwed up…now what? I feel bad.
One of the common issues that I deal with in couples counseling is related to the aftermath of mistakes. A spouse cheats A spouse uses painful words like a scalpel to cut as deeply as possible. An angry outbursts scares the bejezus out of a spouse A secret offense is brought to light. The list…
Three things that healthy couples do.
When stress enters the narratives of a relationship, people are often tempted to try and jump directly to problem solving. This is problematic because they are often not in the right place to effectively problem solve. Try the two steps listed below, first. Three Things that Every Healthy Couple Does: 1. De-escalate stress points. In…
8 Limited Thinking Patterns
So often we allow our thoughts to run unexamined through our brain. Often those thoughts lead to negative behaviors. Below is a list of 8 limited thinking patterns that I will often explore with clients. They are taken from the book Thoughts & Feelings by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis and Patrick Fanning. It is a…