Perhaps instead of protest signs, we should be taking large mirrors and fake Halloween skeletons to these leader's speeches. Let's hold up the mirrors, to remind them who they're really talking about, when they rail against deception, moral failings and sexual excess. Make the skeletons dance, to let our leaders know that we're not stupid. They have secrets in their closets, just like we do. Perhaps our leaders should remember that when they stand up in front of us, that their closet doors might very well turn to glass.

via www.psychologytoday.com

What do you think about this article? As soon as I heard this about this guy's challenge, I thought of a couple of things.

  1. Why do pastors think they are qualified to be counselors? Would they let a counselor preach in "their" pulpit?
  2. I wonder who this guy cheated on his wife with

Now, the author here has no qualms about putting his dislike for the man out in the open. What do you think about that? What do you think about the fact that guy blamed facebook for the affairs and thought that shutting down facebook accounts would stop or limit them? I know some people who have joint facebook accounts and I know others who laugh at those people? What are your thoughts about that?

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The Subtle Stages of an Affair

ByJoe Martino

Few people are actually chasing an affair at first, they are often chasing other things that lead to the affair. But few people, if they are honest with the themselves, will deny that they knew where it was heading when they jumped on the path.
If you saw yourself in any of these steps, I can’t encourage you enough to seek counseling.
Affairs are terrible storms that leave dark and deep swaths of destruction in their wake.

6 Comments

  1. I read an article not too long ago about how having joint accounts or sharing passwords actually encourages dishonesty, or something to that effect, and that couples with separate accounts tend to be more open and honest with each other. I wish I knew where I read that, though.
    I think that married couples need to emphasize both their uniqueness and their togetherness. I never want to be the couple who wears matching shirts everywhere. But I also don’t want to be the couple that wakes up one day saying, “When did you become a different person?”
    And I would let you speak from my pulpit 🙂 I do think that pastors are qualified to be counselors in the sense of giving Biblical advice. Also, pastors are often included in and/or aware of intimate details of people’s lives, which gives them the ability to speak into those areas. However, as a pastor, I would refer someone to a counselor/therapist if they had an issue that required it.

  2. Hey Steve,
    Thanks for the thoughtful comments. I’ve never read any data on couples and facebook but that sounds really interesting
    As for pastors and counseling, I do think that they can speak to life issues and advice but often the fact that they are included in the intimate details of the person’s life causes them to be less effective as counselors. I think the professionalism required to be an effective counselor is often minimized in churches and the idea that a pastor, even one who knows the Bible really well may not be qualified to deal with the issues that come up in counseling is somehow offensive to many pastors. I find that intriguing.
    Counseling is more than just life advice.

  3. PS. I think what makes you effective as a pastor in a counseling situation is that you self aware enough to always be evaluating what’s going on and how “professionally prepared” you are for the situation.

  4. Thanks Joe.
    I like the imagery of a pastor as a shepherd. A shepherd offers care and direction to the sheep, but (and I’m taking this in a direction I know the Bible didn’t ever intend), he’s still not a veterinarian.
    Maybe parenthood is a better analogy. As a parent, you are responsible for your child’s wellbeing, but that doesn’t mean you have to give your kid surgery yourself when they get their tonsils out. You don’t even have to be in the operating room. But your job is to take them to the doctor.
    As a pastor I can probably have tough conversations with some people that others might not be able to, and I might be able to give good advice. But I know I’m not qualified to deal with a lot of the issues that come up as a result of those conversations.
    And now as I think about it, even though I thought most of you counseling students were odd at best, crazy at worst back when I was in seminary, I’m incredibly thankful that GRTS emphasized both programs because now I know a lot of people I’d feel comfortable referring someone to that needed it.

  5. Thanks Steve,
    You know we should talk about seminars I could offer to your teens and their parents. Do you skype? Are you even in GR? Do you MacChat?

  6. I’m in Kalamazoo now, so not too far from GR. I do go to GR occasionally. I have Skype, and if MacChat is the same thing as iChat, I have that too.

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