Restoring trust in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things that anyone has to do. Many people think that trust must be earned. I used to be one of those people.
Now, I often urge people that ultimately, trust must be given. It can never be earned.
That doesn’t mean it should be without boundaries. In fact it should have good boundaries. I believe there are four steps to restoring trust in any relationship. These steps are linear and usually have to be followed in order. Those steps are:
- Both people have to agree there is a problem
- Clear, measurable action steps need to be identified and agreed upon.
- Time has to be given for the action steps to be followed (this is in itself an act of trust with boundaries).
- Trust has to be given.
What do you think? How could these steps help restore trust in a relationship you are in or know of?
Step four is problematic in that trust has already been given. Maybe step four could/should be trust established or the act of trusting continued.
Hi Wayne,
Thanks for reading and commenting. Step 4 is more the final giving of the trust being viewed as restored trust. In other words, step three I the process and step 4 is the actual trust given. Does that distinction help?