I was having a conversation lately with someone who was stuck in a really bad story. She is dating the same guy over and over again. And while his name has changed, his character has been the same.

It’s messing with her head.It’s keeping her up at night. It’s making her feel hollow inside. Then I asked her one of the most powerful questions we can ask of anyone.

What do you want?

She told me. What was interesting to her was that every time she gets close to what she wants, it freaks her out. She literally panics and runs away. I asked her about that and she said she was perplexed. I suggested to her that the very thing she wanted was the scariest thing. So I asked a follow up question (Hey, I’m a counselor! We ask questions).

What drives your decisions? What you want or avoiding what you don’t want?

Often the thing we want the most will force us to risk the thing we don’t want the most. You have to risk rejection to find true acceptance. The entrepreneur risks failure to find success. Think about anything you have done that has been meaningful in your life. Somewhere in that journey you risked failure. Think about all the things that you wanted to do but didn’t because you were afraid you would risk failure. Now accept the fact that you also risked success and because of the fear of failure you failed to give the fire of success a chance to burn bright.

Now ask yourself, What am I not doing right now because I’m afraid of failing? What am I afraid of risking? Is this really worth risking success? There are some things I wont’ risk for success. But our list should be pretty short.

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