When difficult things happen, people often lump all of them into trials or bad things happening. But the truth is often much more complicated than that. Too often, we reap consequences that are difficult. Those consequences are the result of something we did. That’s not a trial. That’s life. If I blow all of my…
We are a heard deprived society. Take a moment and list out how many people you feel have really heard you over the years? Not just the words coming out of your mouth but the emotion and soul behind those words. How long is the list? When I ask clients this question, I am often…
This letter was sent to me today. Enjoy. I remember the first day I called Creative Solutions Counseling, I was down and out. My fiancee at the time and I have been running our relationship into the ground and although we said we loved each other, we surly wouldn’t of stayed married at the rate…
One of the common issues that I deal with in couples counseling is related to the aftermath of mistakes. A spouse cheats A spouse uses painful words like a scalpel to cut as deeply as possible. An angry outbursts scares the bejezus out of a spouse A secret offense is brought to light. The list…
One important aspect of living authentically is living in truth. From the standpoint of relationship, this means not living in state of denial about the conditions that surround a relationship. It also means not passively accepting the negative aspects of the overall circumstances that surround us. With regard to friendships in particular it means not…
Voluntary Madness is a disappointing book. I was intriqued by the premise of the book and the writing started out all right. Ms. Vincent "voluntarily" checks herself into three separate mental health organizations in attempt to bring down the system around our ears. She sets out to expose the big bad system. She doesn't actually…
Inconsistent messages tear at the fabric of any connection we have with our children.
"Many students lack acceptance of internal events like sadness, anger and anxiety," says Jacqueline Pistorello, Ph.D., of the University of Nevada at Reno. She sees such widespread problem behaviors as drinking and self-cutting as attempts by students to dissipate sadness and anxiety. College mental health directors report that the last four years has seen a…
One of the central facets of addiction is the unwillingness to take responsibility. Without exercising the all-important watershed of self-responsibility, breaking the compulsive cycle that leads to addictive behavior is all but impossible. Systems like AA or the Minnesota Model, which allow the abdication of self-responsibility to The Program, The Meeting, The Sponsor and even…
