Habits get a bad meaning in my opinion. They are a beautiful thing, when used appropriately. There are bad, good, better and even best habits. This podcast deals with the idea that your habits will completely shape your future. You can listen by clicking on this link or search the "The Joe Martino Show" in…
Do you want to reduce your stress? Lower your anxiety? Read on, my friends.
I find that many of my clients and people that I come in contact with actually see the early warning signs but tend to ignore them because of the narrative in their own head. Some obvious early warning signs are over sharing too soon, when it is not appropriate. This is often an attempt at…
If I asked you how a person came to feelings, you would probably believe that the following steps are the process for how we go from an event to a feeling is something like this: Something happens I have a belief about what happened. I have an emotional reaction (a feeling or emotion) to what…
Nothing in life will invite us to more regret than parenting. There are so many times, that no matter how it plays out, you and I will be tempted to think about the 3 million other ways we could have gone. But what happens when you know you really made a mistake? I address that…
You’re not an idiot because something bad happened like you lost $100 that you can’t afford to lose. You’re not shameful because someone molested or raped you as a child. You didn’t deserve to be raped because you were drunk at a party. Your worth isn’t diminished because your father didn’t know how to adequately love you. You’re not worthless because your mom took every chance she could to remind you that you were an accident that wasn’t planned.
I do not believe you are an accident. I do believe you have worth.
Then we try to soothe our pain. We try to soothe it by working out or making millions of dollars or getting involved in church. We try to outdo our shame, falsely believing that we can outrun it through activity. The net result becomes a heaping of shame on top of shame. Our activity does not do away with our shame; instead, it numbs our response to it. A numb soul tends to be numb to everything. This causes us to pick activities that keep us from connecting with someone else, which causes us to experience more shame.
The truth is your marriage, my friend’s marriage and my marriage is mortal. They can all die, which is why we must be vigilant in protecting our marriages. We must cultivate them.
When things are going ravishingly well, we must work at it. When dry and difficult times come we must work at it.
Admitting that our bodies are mortal does not mean that we want to die prematurely. The same is true for marriages. When I was married I made a promise to stay that way until death separated us and I meant it.
Denying that my marriage is mortal doesn’t make that promise any stronger. It does not make my marriage stronger, in fact I think it makes it more vulnerable.
When difficult things happen, people often lump all of them into trials or bad things happening. But the truth is often much more complicated than that. Too often, we reap consequences that are difficult. Those consequences are the result of something we did. That’s not a trial. That’s life. If I blow all of my…
We are a heard deprived society. Take a moment and list out how many people you feel have really heard you over the years? Not just the words coming out of your mouth but the emotion and soul behind those words. How long is the list? When I ask clients this question, I am often…
