Relationships -

If you had a friend that talked to you like you do, would you still be friends?

ByJoe Martino March 8, 2018

You’re not an idiot because something bad happened like you lost $100 that you can’t afford to lose. You’re not shameful because someone molested or raped you as a child. You didn’t deserve to be raped because you were drunk at a party. Your worth isn’t diminished because your father didn’t know how to adequately love you. You’re not worthless because your mom took every chance she could to remind you that you were an accident that wasn’t planned.
I do not believe you are an accident. I do believe you have worth.

Books | Counseling | Couples Counseling

The Emotionally Secure Couple: Chapter One

ByJoe Martino March 1, 2018

Then we try to soothe our pain. We try to soothe it by working out or making millions of dollars or getting involved in church. We try to outdo our shame, falsely believing that we can outrun it through activity. The net result becomes a heaping of shame on top of shame. Our activity does not do away with our shame; instead, it numbs our response to it. A numb soul tends to be numb to everything. This causes us to pick activities that keep us from connecting with someone else, which causes us to experience more shame.

Couples Counseling | Dating | Family | Relationships

The Subtle Stages of an Affair

ByJoe Martino February 7, 2018

Few people are actually chasing an affair at first, they are often chasing other things that lead to the affair. But few people, if they are honest with the themselves, will deny that they knew where it was heading when they jumped on the path.
If you saw yourself in any of these steps, I can’t encourage you enough to seek counseling.
Affairs are terrible storms that leave dark and deep swaths of destruction in their wake.

Communication | Conflict Resolution | Couples Counseling | Relationships

VLOG #4. Three Steps to Problem Solving

ByJoe Martino November 7, 2017

Here is my fourth YouTube offering. In this video, I explore the three steps for problem solving. So many couples get into trouble in their conversation because they end up trying to go directly to step #3. Watch the video below and let me know what you think. Thanks.

46 Challenge

The 46 challenge

ByJoe Martino July 11, 2013

So we want to do something fun for the summer. One of the things that we believe is that couples need to date more. So we are challenging you to do the 46 challenge. The idea is that you will have 4 dates in 6 weeks with your spouse. If you’re willing to do it,…

Relational Equity part 4

ByJoe Martino February 22, 2013

This part of a continuing series on Relational Equity. Part 1 can be found here Part 2 can be found here Part 3 can be found here The Problem is the word Eventually An obvious question is doesn’t that make it impossible? I mean, who’s going to do something and not expect anything in return?…

Couples Counseling | Marriage | Relationships

Relational Equity part 3

ByJoe Martino February 21, 2013

Part one can be found here. Part two can be found here. Focus on the positives If you are fighting with your spouse a lot, chances are good that you are focusing on the negatives. Let’s say that your husband has been promising to get something done in the backyard for months. You keep bringing…

Relational Equity part 2

ByJoe Martino February 20, 2013

This is a continuation of a series on relational equity. Part 1 can be found here. Stop Manipulating I’m suggesting you should stop attempting to manipulate your spouse into doing what you want them to do. In fact, my assumption is that you can never manipulate someone into doing something and have a long term…

On roles of men and women, a question.

ByJoe Martino February 18, 2013

Recently, I was contacted by another therapist regarding a consultation. This is what she said to me in almost verbatim. In the past, we’ve had too much of men being able to judge women and make them feel… “less” but today we’re encouraging it in women. Rather than solving the problem, we’re just teaching women…

Narrative Thinking

What is your character sketch?

ByJoe Martino October 23, 2012

In college I had the opportunity to be in a few plays. I was able to do some Shakespeare and a few other authors that to be honest, I forget. I enjoyed being able to play a few bigger roles and a few smaller roles. My favorite for the character sketches was the smaller roles….