Media Monday (3). Circle/Square
Do you want to reduce your stress? Lower your anxiety? Read on, my friends.
Signs of a toxic relationship
I find that many of my clients and people that I come in contact with actually see the early warning signs but tend to ignore them because of the narrative in their own head. Some obvious early warning signs are over sharing too soon, when it is not appropriate. This is often an attempt at…
How do we develop our feelings?
If I asked you how a person came to feelings, you would probably believe that the following steps are the process for how we go from an event to a feeling is something like this: Something happens I have a belief about what happened. I have an emotional reaction (a feeling or emotion) to what…
Vlog #6. What do you do when you screw up as a parent?
Nothing in life will invite us to more regret than parenting. There are so many times, that no matter how it plays out, you and I will be tempted to think about the 3 million other ways we could have gone. But what happens when you know you really made a mistake? I address that…
If you had a friend that talked to you like you do, would you still be friends?
You’re not an idiot because something bad happened like you lost $100 that you can’t afford to lose. You’re not shameful because someone molested or raped you as a child. You didn’t deserve to be raped because you were drunk at a party. Your worth isn’t diminished because your father didn’t know how to adequately love you. You’re not worthless because your mom took every chance she could to remind you that you were an accident that wasn’t planned.
I do not believe you are an accident. I do believe you have worth.
The Emotionally Secure Couple: Chapter One
Then we try to soothe our pain. We try to soothe it by working out or making millions of dollars or getting involved in church. We try to outdo our shame, falsely believing that we can outrun it through activity. The net result becomes a heaping of shame on top of shame. Our activity does not do away with our shame; instead, it numbs our response to it. A numb soul tends to be numb to everything. This causes us to pick activities that keep us from connecting with someone else, which causes us to experience more shame.
The Subtle Stages of an Affair
Few people are actually chasing an affair at first, they are often chasing other things that lead to the affair. But few people, if they are honest with the themselves, will deny that they knew where it was heading when they jumped on the path.
If you saw yourself in any of these steps, I can’t encourage you enough to seek counseling.
Affairs are terrible storms that leave dark and deep swaths of destruction in their wake.
VLOG #5 #MeToo is a #MenToo issue
This video deals with my history of sexual assault at the hands of someone in my neighborhood and the different reactions I’ve encountered over the years in trying to bring the conversation to light.
Your Marriage is Mortal, It can die. You Can Keep It Alive
The truth is your marriage, my friend’s marriage and my marriage is mortal. They can all die, which is why we must be vigilant in protecting our marriages. We must cultivate them.
When things are going ravishingly well, we must work at it. When dry and difficult times come we must work at it.
Admitting that our bodies are mortal does not mean that we want to die prematurely. The same is true for marriages. When I was married I made a promise to stay that way until death separated us and I meant it.
Denying that my marriage is mortal doesn’t make that promise any stronger. It does not make my marriage stronger, in fact I think it makes it more vulnerable.
Fishing for a life lesson
The problem is that we all impact each other. Denying that is akin to denying gravity.