Vlog #1. Answering a very common question about my marriage conference
I want to answer one of the most common questions about my marriage conference. Vlog #1 from Joe Martino on Vimeo.
The problem with faith and hope.
Faith is problematic because it requires us to embrace the mess. In the rawness of faith, we must embrace the idea that there things we cannot see and hope means we may have to wait. Waiting is often hard and sometimes, painful. But faith and hope are worth it.
Points to Ponder: 100 words or fewer
To a greater or lesser degree, all people suffer from inadequacies of their flexible response systems. Much of the work of psychotherapy consists of attempting to help our patients allow or make their response systems become more flexible. Peck, M. Scott
Three things that healthy couples do.
When stress enters the narratives of a relationship, people are often tempted to try and jump directly to problem solving. This is problematic because they are often not in the right place to effectively problem solve. Try the two steps listed below, first. Three Things that Every Healthy Couple Does: 1. De-escalate stress points. In…
Points to Ponder: 100 words or not
Being hurt by someone is not an excuse to hurt someone else. We have very little control over the hurt that is inflicted upon us but we have 100% control over what we do with that hurt. Do we turn it into motivation for something good and redemptive or do we revel in it, making…
Is is better to stay together for the kids?
If you've not read the book, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, by Judith Wallerstein, I would highly encourage you to do so. Not every marriage can be saved. I get that. But there are many that can. People stop because it seems easier to get divorced. Those consequences seem more palatable–severe and difficult for sure–but…
Your Marriage is Mortal, It can die. You Can Keep It Alive
The truth is your marriage, my friend’s marriage and my marriage is mortal. They can all die, which is why we must be vigilant in protecting our marriages. We must cultivate them.
When things are going ravishingly well, we must work at it. When dry and difficult times come we must work at it.
Admitting that our bodies are mortal does not mean that we want to die prematurely. The same is true for marriages. When I was married I made a promise to stay that way until death separated us and I meant it.
Denying that my marriage is mortal doesn’t make that promise any stronger. It does not make my marriage stronger, in fact I think it makes it more vulnerable.
Points to Ponder. <100 words
"Resilience is distinct from mere survival, and more than mere endurance. Resilience is often endurance with direction. Where are you headed? Why are you going there?" (26) ~Eric Greitens, Resilience. pp. 25 Related articles It's not what happens, it's how we attach meaning that matters Points to Ponder (Life Lessons Style) Want Students with Grit?…
3 Core Questions | Children | Counseling | Family | Main Ideas | Parenting | Relationships
We are hardwired to connection from birth.
In large measure, what is causing this crisis of American childhood is a lack of connectedness. We mean two kinds of connectedness—close connections to other people, and deep connections to moral and spiritual meaning.
Press on. Great quotes.
"Great endeavors are usually fueled, at least in part, by an irrational passion. Let's not glorify irrationality, but let's recognize that if you look rationally at the odds of succeeding at anything worthwhile, you'll often end up with a rational decision to surrender. To go on anyway, you have to be a little crazy."