How can we walk alongside those who grieve while also tending to our own sorrow? My community has recently faced a wave of profound loss, and in today’s episode, I share my reflections on navigating this grief in real-time.
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Validation Is Not the Same as Agreement
Validation started as a helpful idea. It meant helping people feel seen, heard, and understood. Somewhere along the way, many people began treating validation as something else entirely. Now some people expect agreement when they ask for understanding. They expect protection from discomfort. They expect others to affirm every feeling, every interpretation, and every reaction….
Those who disagree with us are not our enemies.
We have to develop the ability to hold two things in our minds at once. I pray that we return to being people who value questions. We need to step away from our identity politics and embrace that those who disagree with us are also people just like us. We have to fight against our normal nature of craving certainty. Certainty is good until it becomes the thing destroying us. There is no such thing as a life or a relationship without danger and disagreement.
340. You Tried to Talk… They Shut It Down. Now What?
If you finally worked up the courage to have a hard conversation and it blew up in your face, this episode is for you. Maybe they got defensive. Maybe they attacked. Maybe they avoided the whole thing and somehow you walked away feeling like you were the problem. In this follow-up to the episode on…
Let’s make the world a better place by listening and learning.
I'd like to think that we all want to listen to each other. I would like to believe that almost everyone I meet wants to be an excellent listener. And yet the chaos of our world often feels overwhelming. It can often seem like everywhere I turn, I see people who are not listening Even…
Wanting Change or Willing to Change? (Part 2)
Let’s talk about what it looks like to change. This is Part 2 in a 3-part series on change. So—what does it look like to want change? That’s the million-dollar question.Literally.We’re investing more than ever in mental health.More therapy.More coaching.More tools. But how are we doing? Are we changing—or just circling the same struggles in…
- Addiction | Change | Counseling | Weblogs
Addiction, Self-responsibility and the Importance of Choice | Psychology Today
One of the central facets of addiction is the unwillingness to take responsibility. Without exercising the all-important watershed of self-responsibility, breaking the compulsive cycle that leads to addictive behavior is all but impossible. Systems like AA or the Minnesota Model, which allow the abdication of self-responsibility to The Program, The Meeting, The Sponsor and even…
