This part of a continuing series on Relational Equity. Part 1 can be found here Part 2 can be found here Part 3 can be found here The Problem is the word Eventually An obvious question is doesn’t that make it impossible? I mean, who’s going to do something and not expect anything in return?…
Part one can be found here. Part two can be found here. Focus on the positives If you are fighting with your spouse a lot, chances are good that you are focusing on the negatives. Let’s say that your husband has been promising to get something done in the backyard for months. You keep bringing…
This is a continuation of a series on relational equity. Part 1 can be found here. Stop Manipulating I’m suggesting you should stop attempting to manipulate your spouse into doing what you want them to do. In fact, my assumption is that you can never manipulate someone into doing something and have a long term…
This is the first part in a series on relational equity. This is actually a chapter directly out of my book that I’m working on. I imagine some of the things I have to say in this section will be somewhat controversial. That is not my intent. This is a key to a healthy relationship….
Recently, I was contacted by another therapist regarding a consultation. This is what she said to me in almost verbatim. In the past, we’ve had too much of men being able to judge women and make them feel… “less” but today we’re encouraging it in women. Rather than solving the problem, we’re just teaching women…
A great tragedy of our day is that we have no framework with which to process bad things. We do not process difficult things. We ignore and soothe them. Because we can’t process it, we become cynical and jaded. No longer is life a series of seasons where some are good and some are bad,…
When difficult things happen, people often lump all of them into trials or bad things happening. But the truth is often much more complicated than that. Too often, we reap consequences that are difficult. Those consequences are the result of something we did. That’s not a trial. That’s life. If I blow all of my…
I met Amelia Rhodes over an iPad. She was writing in one of my favorite coffee shops on an iPad, so of course I had to talk to her about it. It turns out that our daughters are in the same grade. It also turns out that she is an author. Her book is called,…
One of the most common discussions I have when I talk to people is “How do I handle my in-laws when it comes to my kids?” Just this morning, I heard about a couple who has parents disagreeing with their “sick” policy. You know those conversations. They usually go something like this: You: Oh, we…
If you’re not reading Brené Brown, I think you’re missing out. Ive quoted her here numerous times. The following quote is from her book, “The Gifts of Imperfection” (You can purchase the book by clicking on the banner to the left of my page). “Authenticity is a collection of choices we have to make every…
