I often meet people who tell me about their wishes.
Sometimes, they call these wishes goals and I call them wishes.
They want to do this thing they're talking about….
……build a business
……start a non-profit
…….go back to school
…..write a novel
……get healthier
….do something they are not currently doing.
When I ask them what is keeping them from doing the thing they want to be doing, I usually hear one of two things. Sometimes, I hear both.
"I don't have the time," they say with dour seriousness.
"I don't have the resources," gets expressed with equal chagrin.
I often push back and ask them how important their wish is to them. They often tell me that it's really important. I will ask them how important again and they will express some agitation at me asking the same question a second time.
I often tell them that I find that question to be the most important because I believe that people do what they want to do when they want to do it.
I often find that people fail at starting something new because they are unwilling to say no to something that they are currently doing but find unsatisfying.
You want to have a family? Well, that's going to impact the amount of times you can hang out with your "bros".
You want to get healthier? Well, that's going to force you to change your eating, and sleep habits.
You want to have an intimate relationship? Well, that's going to force you to change how you draw your boundaries and deploy your personal amour.
No matter what you do, you'll have to stop doing something else.
I have found it helpful to judge people's seriousness about an endeavor by making one seemingly weird suggestion.
When they suggest to me that they are under-resourced, I'll suggest they cut their cable or phone bill.
The reactions are almost comical.
It's as though by suggesting they cut out their cable that I am asking for a limb.
"But, if you're going to get where you want to go, you'll need to change something," I prod. "What do you want to change?"
"I can't. I'm stuck,"
To that I say, "Hogwash!"
The journey from where you are to where you want to be is going to be hard. Everything in life worth having is hard.
Life is hard because it's supposed to be hard, because that is how we learn.
What about you? What do you want to do that you're not doing? What is keeping you from chasing that thing? Is is fear? What are you willing to pay to get it done? Think beyond terms of monetary payments here. Are you willing to pay engaging your fear? Are you willing to risk failure (maybe public)? Are you willing pay people telling you it won't work? Are you willing to lose sleep? Are you willing to delay gratification?
Here's another truth for another post but remember that today what you do is because you're choosing to do it. If you don't like the results you're getting, start making plans to make different choices.
