One of the things that I am constantly pondering is my inner dialogue and the inner dialogue of those around me. Depending on who you read, it is estimated that we have somewhere near 60,000 thoughts a day. Some suggests that almost 80% of those are negative. If that’s true, that means we have almost 48,000 negative thoughts a day!
Our inner dialogue shapes how we view the world. It shapes how we process the events that happen to us. I was reading recently that the number one predictor for how children will function as an adult is not the events that happen to them, but how the chid makes sense of the events that happen. This is shaped by our inner dialogue. Add to our own inner thoughts, the words of other people. People have a funny way of offering their opinion even if you don’t need it or want it.
If they think that they might fail at trying something, they will be more than willing to tell you why you will fail.
Words matter. I wrote about Pam, a woman I know here. I want to come back to the thoughts in that post today. Words are powerful. If you can speak, you are powerful. You can influence, not only your own life, but also the lives of those around you. Your family, your neighbors, your co-workers, literally everyone you know.
A number of years ago, a man shared a powerful truism with me. He said,
Most people are desperately insecure and in need of affirmation.
If you agree with him, as I do, think about the power in your words. The guy at the office who is going through a divorce and thinks he’s an abject failure. The woman you cross paths with every day who is socially awkward. The person who can’t find a job. The person who seems to have it all together but is convinced that it’s all going to south at any second.
Every time you meet someone and talk to them, you have power. You can affirm them or tear them down. You can build them up. You help fight the tide of negative thoughts that are cascading through their brain like a runaway waterfall covering every perception they have of life.
How many people have achieved amazing things because someone believed in them? How many people have been able to turn their lives around simply because someone else refused to give up on them? You and I can be that someone for others. We can push back against the tide of self sabotage. We were made to live in community. I believe that community is only helpful to the degree that it allows us to see the truth and the possibilities.
Negative thoughts kill dreams and we were made to dream big. We were made to desire to make a difference. To do that, we’ll have to fight back against the negative thoughts in our mind and we’ll have to help others fight the thoughts in theirs. Why not make a commitment to offer words of praise to the people you meet today?