Our house is older. It sat dormant for a few years before we bought it. It wasn’t properly winterized before it was left to sit during the housing crisis.
That reality created a tidal wave of fun things to discover and figure out over the years.
Our water is hard. So hard, that I often joke that if Peter had walked on the water in Michigan, his lack of faith wouldn’t have been a problem.
To solve the water problem we, revitalized a water softener.
An unexpected byproduct of that project was that we created a new game. We affectionately called it the “Shower Game.”
In the shower game, you could be hit with very hot water one minute, freezing water the next and even lose water pressure all together occasionally (although to be fair, this was usually because another big water event was happening).
The slightest adjustment to the water knob could produce the most extreme water temperate swings.
I wonder if we’re living the shower game when it comes to mental health today.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
You’ll see the posts.
You’ll see the statistics.
You’ll see the reminders to “check on your people.”
None of that is bad. But most people don’t need more reminders.
They already know something feels off.
They can feel it in the quiet moments. When the house settles and the noise drops.
When there’s nothing left to distract them.
Sometimes it’s loud.
Sometimes it just lingers in the background.
A low hum they can’t quite turn off.
And over time, they learn how to manage it.
Stay busy.
Stay distracted.
Keep moving just enough to not have to look too closely.
Until life slows down.
Or something breaks.
Or something shifts.
And now you’re face-to-face with it again.
Not as a concept.
Not as something you read about.
But as something you’re living in.
That’s usually where people start asking better questions.
“What do I do now?” replaces “What’s wrong with me?”
Because knowing something isn’t working doesn’t automatically tell you how to change it.
And most of the advice out there either feels too big… or too vague.
So people stall.
Because they don’t know where to start.
So let’s start smaller than you think.
Not your whole life.
Not your whole story.
Just today.
Mental health is shaped in the ordinary.
In the conversations you avoid.
In the thoughts you rehearse.
In the habits you repeat without thinking about them.
It’s built on the small decisions that don’t feel important in the moment.
Getting out of bed when you don’t feel like it.
Going for the walk you almost talked yourself out of.
Saying the thing you’ve been holding in.
None of those fixes everything.
But they move something.
Movement matters more than most people think.
Because when you move, even a little, change happens.
Perspective adjusts.
Energy changes.
Options start to show up.
Not all at once.
But enough to take another step.
That’s how most people get unstuck.
Not through a breakthrough moment.
Through a series of small decisions that pull them forward.
You might be wondering what this has to do with the shower game. Until recently in human history, we didn’t talk much about our mental health. Most people quietly suffered alone, one bottle at a time, one drug at a time, one reckless act alone.
But now I wonder how we swung too far the other way? Have we moved from not talking about our mental health to making our mental health our identity?
Instead of saying, we struggle with anxiety or depression, we say we are anxious, or we are depressed. We removed sad from our vernacular unless it applies to sports teams or trying for a new job.
In making these diagnoses are labels, have we created a space where people are incentivized to live stuck?
Because change is hard. It’s slower than we want. And more ordinary than we expect.
I think it started when we made dysfunction our entertainment over the last 20 years. TV shows started popping up with people who had eating disorders or hoarding disorders. And each week, America would tune in to be entertained by their struggles.
Mental health and its physical ramifications became prime-time entertainment.
I’m not sure we need Mental Health Awareness Month. I wonder if we need a mental health evaluation month.
A month where we actually evaluate what’s working.
Where we track outcomes instead of just repeating messages.
Where we recognize that mental health isn’t separate from physical health. It’s deeply connected to it.
Where we stop treating diagnoses like identity, and start seeing them as information.
Where we accept that growth is usually slow, ordinary, and built through small, consistent movement.
We wouldn’t need to have the next six months figured out.
We wouldn’t need to solve everything at once.
But we would have to be honest about where we are.
And honest about what we’re doing to move forward.
I’m afraid that it is often the emphasis on awareness that gives us the reason to stand still.
But, movement is more available to us than we often see.
When we begin moving things don’t magically change. But we start to move towards change.
Because we haven’t experienced what happens next, fear can creep in, and our brain can conjure multiple reasons to stay stuck.
But, if we are not willing to move, we will never experience change, regardless of how aware we are.
So if this month is about awareness, let it be personal.
Pay attention to what’s actually going on in your life.
Where you’re avoiding.
Where you’re stuck.
Where you’ve been waiting.
Then do something small with it.
Not everything.
Something.
Because your mental health isn’t decided in one moment.
It’s shaped in what you do next.
If this stirred something in you, don’t sit on it.
Pick one area you’ve been avoiding and take a small step today.
